overcoming grief

I am lying on bench watching toward ceiling near to her at gyne ward at weatern regional hospital of Pokhara .I am trying to consoling her but couldn’t control myself .

it’s very dificult for parents losing their baby .it may be the most dificult grif i have faced in life .it’s sixth day we have lost our baby boy .how many days we stay mourning with grief ?though I denied of lost , I have to face the reality .

I waked up early in the morning; trying to change my these difficult condition .i have to fit and healthy for our future .i have other family members waiting for us .i haven’t bathed since 12days after her admission on hospital .i had no mood for doing any daily activities . I realized how many days i live this way ?i trid to make me strong .

after taking bath , we went open place near to ward and took long breathe five -six times ,that realize me ,i have to do lots of things , i have to live .

anyway i have to forget this tragic moment .

हिड्दा हिड्दै

कहिलेकाहीँ नजिकै रहेका प्रचलन हरु पनि नयाँ हुदा रहेछन् छाङ्छाङ्दि मन्दिरमा नेवार समुदायको यस्तो नाच पहिले देखिएकाे थिएन

शिक्षक दिवस

पढाउन थालेकाे बाहृाै बर्ष भयाे , मैले शिक्षक दिवस भनेर कुनै कार्यक्रम मा भाग लिएकाे थिइन अथवा मैले याे दिवस मनाएकाे थिइन ।

सेप्टेम्बर पाँच लाइ विश्व शिक्षक दिवस भनेर नेपालमा पनि मनाइदाे रहेछ । नेपालमा कहिले देखि मनाउन थालियो त्यसकाे यकिन मलाई नभएतापनि हिजो पच्चीसाै दिवस भनेर मनाइएकाे थियो । नेपाल जस्तो देश जहाँ शिक्षण पेशालाइ सम्मानित रुपमा हेरिदैन , शिक्षक का हक हित का लागि अावाज उठाउन का लागि हाेस वा शिक्षक का क्षमता अभिवृद्धि गर्न यस्ता दिवस हरुले सकरात्मक भुमिका खेल्न सक्छन् ।

रुपन्देही जिल्लाकाे पश्चिमी भागमा पर्ने कन्चन गाउँपालिका काे हरैया मा वि मा भएकाे एक शिक्षक दिवस काे कार्यक्रममा म दर्शक काे रुपमा सहभागी भएकाे थिएँ ।हुन त म साेही विद्यालय मा कार्यरत शिक्षक भएर साे कार्यक्रम मा सहभागी थिए तर कार्यक्रम काे स्थान विद्यालय भएता पनि कसले याे अायाेजना गरेकाे थियो स्पष्टता भएन । शिक्षक दिवस भनेर मनाइएको कार्यक्रममा विद्यालय काे समय सकिएपछि अर्थात् चार बजे पछि शुरु भएकाले धेरै शिक्षक काे वाध्यत्मक उपस्थिति देखिन्थ्यो । खालि कस्मेटिक्स रुपमा मनाइने यस्ता कार्यक्रम लाइ सवै शिक्षकलाई अाफ्नाे पेसागत दिवस काे रुपमा भब्य रुपमा विबिध कार्यक्रम सहित मनाउन सके यसकाे सान्दर्भिकता अझै बढ्ने थियो

Holi 

Holi is celebrated all over the country . it is known as day of different colurs I usually enjoy this festival playing with colours with friends . as I know , holi  used to known mainly celebrated at terai with colours on my childhood days . we enjoyed singing and dancing rather than colours at hilly regions . it was more enjoyful the picnic called banvoj with the money that we collected with surrounding villages by singing holy rymes . 

when I grown up and I becomes young and I went Kathmandu for study . there I met friends from all over parts of Nepal and we celebrated each festival wonderfully . Some events and friends created on this festive are unforgetable on whole life period . 

This year,  i am staying at terai regions where holi should be more enjoyful than previous days but it didn’t . there are so many reasons of  I hadn’t enjoyed this festival first time . the request by some students couldn’t denied myself and it happened this way 

    केही कुरा 

    धेरै शब्द हरु मनमा उकुसमुकुस भएर बसिराखेका छन्् , बाहिर निस्कन का लागि छरपस्ट भएर 

    म प्रयासरत छु तिनलाई लामबद्द बनाइ बाहिर निकाल्न 

    लाग्छ केही समय तिनलाई मिलाउन का लागि ,           किनकि तिनमा प्रााण भर्नु छ 

    नेपाली राजनीति 

    किन हाे स्थानीय तहकाे चुनाव काे घाेषणा संगै मनमा एक किसिमको खुशी छाएकाे थियो । लगभग बिस बर्ष काे अन्तराल पछि देशमा स्थानीय चुनाव काे माहोल बनेको थियाे । देशमा भइरहेको राजनैतिक गतिविधि हेर्दा चुनाव हुनेमा निकै शंका देखिएकाे थियो । केही दिन पहिले जब प्रधानन्यायधिश माथि लगाइएको महा अभियाेग ले चुनाव नहुने शंका मात्रै हाेइन देश नै राजनैतिक बन्दी बन्छ भन्ने भय सबैलाई लागेको थियोे । तर सबै राजनैतिक दलहरूले जुन उत्साहजनक रुपमा उम्मेदवारी दर्ता गरे , सामुहिक रुपमा चुनावी माहोलमा प्रतिबद्ध भए , पहिलो चरणकाे तिन प्रदेशमा हुने चुनाव निश्चित देखिन्छ । यसले धेरै नेपाली मा एउटा अाशाकाे सन्चार गरेको छ । देश संघियता मा गइसकेको र स्थानीय तहमा अाएका नयाँ सरकार ले देशलाई बिकास तर्फ लम्काउने अाशा जागेको छ । चुनाव सफल हाेस भन्ने धेरै नेपालीको चाहना बनेको छ

    कुराे नेपाली राजिनितकाे

    सन्सारमा सबैभन्दा बिढ राजिनित ले िबकृत बनाएकाे देश भनेर नेपाल लाइ िचिनन्छ । यित धेरै पाकृितक सम्पदा र सम्भावना हुदाहुदै पिन नेपालीको िजवनस्तर न्युन हुनाकाे कारण खराब राजिनित नै हाे भनेर ठाेकुवा गर्ने धेरै अाधारहरु छन । हुन त िवश्वका  धेरै देशमा राजनैतिक अस्िथरता कायमै छ र जनताहरु शान्तिपूर्ण िजवनयापन गर्न पाएका छैनन् । तर नेपालमा जस्तो बेिथित कमै देशमा मात्रै मैले सुनेकाे छु ।
    हुन त सकारात्मक साेचले मात्रै पिरवर्तन सम्भव हुन्छ , तर याे देशमा िछटै ब्यवस्थामा पिरवर्तन अाउला जस्तो लाग्दैन । सरकारी हाेस वा िनिज कुनै पिन ठाउमा राम्रो मान्छे भन्दा हाम्रो मान्छे काे िनयुक्ित हुन्छ । खासगरी अाफ्ना कार्यकर्ता र अाफन्त लाइ भर्न सबै हािकमहरु तल्लीन देिखन्छन । जबसम्म याेग्यता र खुबीकाे कदर हुदैन , तबसम्म जुनसुकै सरकार अायपिन , जाेसुकै मन्त्री बनेपिन देशकाे अवस्था सुध्िरने छैन । देशमा इमानदारीताकाे राजिनित खाचो छ काेही छ याे देशलाई उकास्ने ? म त्यस्ताे मािनस खाेिजरहेछु

    image

    happy new year

    it’s a new year eve of 2016. i am not celebrating this new year .i tried to past this night till 12 for welcome new year by watching t.v but neither any program nor movie can draw my attention . why not i enjoy on wordpress ?
    there are several reason i haven’t good mood of enjoying this night .one of them is i am now in village after twelve year . i used to be at Kathmandu last years where used to  been special new year program and i am not in happy mood of scarcity of every things caused by indian blockade . on last year , i had new plans about whole comming year about career ,travel and lifestyles . i used to have strong promices for replacing good habits removing bads . i don’t have anything except a hope of living wonderfully whatever the condition will .
      people make plan for their better life . but i couldn’t make any plans for my life .whatever i did spontaneously .i hadn’t any plans of becoming doctor , pilot or others prestigous jobs nor i had dream of earning millions . since my chilhood ,when i started to read , i have dream of becoming writer . that dream was lost on quagmire not dead yet .i couldn’t write any notable piece .i will try forever .

    teaching

    teachers have satisfaction on the results of their students in the nepali context .They haven’t got financial success by teaching nor they have social prestige as other profession .teacher is consider successful if he got hundred percent result by his students .when the results limited only 10 percent who is guilty ? i have such unexpected results last internal exam . in spite of my hard labour and dedicated teaching , the result is not satisfied .

    politics

    I thought politics is the system or rule of national authority .it has limits with common people . i heard mostly thirty to forty percent people take participation on election in europian countries and Usa .the statistics may be incorrect ,but like south asian countries ,in others parts of world politics is not common people interest . In my country Nepal , it has spread in every sector .if you aren’t engage in any party or if you are not cadres of party ,your qualification ,ability and capacity are worthless .simply ,you can not live in this country .this may be main reason of failure of country .

    just as it

    there are very simple tools that we can do in our life .these tools or we can say habits too make our life better in other word ,the world may be better from our small initiations.I had already told these are simple techniques ,every one can do and i am assured that most of people are common .with these habits the life of persons will be easy and simple . obviously ,” early to bed , early to rise “makes life energetic as well as healthy .people think that meditation and yoga postures are religious works ,but these are essential for healthy body and mind .so give a little time for these things . Continue reading “just as it”

    picnic or outing

    Apart from our regular duties and responsibilities , we sonetimes go picnic or outing for enjoy . although the enjoyment is short , expensive and unhealthy ,it gives certain degrees of refreshment and excitement in our life . we lose ourselves on voracious food , drink ,game and music sothat we can forget our identity  . in commen cense , we want forget our work and duties and enjoy the freedom . I frequently partipate such program that gives the tonic on my life’s philosophy  . Are we all be constrained in our jobs ? May be some people have their favourite jobs , they do what they have passion on doing the work . Are they tired from their passions ? some rare people have totally freedoms on their works .such people also enjoy on refresh on outings . whatever the reasons and effects of such enjoyment ,picnic and outings are gradually becoming the culture of modern nepali society .

    The Old Farmer vs. God — An Osho Story

    Walking In The Mountains

    farmer

    A farmer,  one day was very angry with God. He said to God, “I have to tell it as it is — enough is enough! You don’t understand even the ABC of agriculture!  When the rains are needed, there are no rains; when the rains are not needed, you go on pouring them. What nonsense is this? If you don’t understand agriculture, you can ask me.  I have devoted my whole life to it. Give me one chance: the coming season, let ME decide and see what happens.”

    It is an ancient story. In those days people had such trust that they could talk directly to God, and their trust was such that the answer was bound to happen. God said, “Okay, this season you decide!”

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    A 6-Minute Workout: Never Underestimate Yourself and What Your Body Can Do

    The Phoenix Rising Collective

    PhotoGrid_1425941288735

    A few weeks ago, I held my first “beginner” class at a studio in Green, Ohio. The participants were shy and nervous, but they ROCKED it! So many of the women in my class had not exercised in years; some had injuries, most were not happy with their current weight, but all were motivated to make a change. Because of that motivation, they ventured out in a particularly cold and snowy northeast Ohio night to let some stranger work them out. The most exciting thing about this whole experience is that these ladies were NOT beginners! My classes are not easy; even when the title of the class says “beginner”, it is a tough workout. Too often, the first step is to believe in ourselves; to know that we simply…can.

    My point to all of this? Do not underestimate yourself and what you can do. If you haven’t exercised in…

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    writing

    can I earn some money from writing ? it’s a big question that comes my mind .i am desired to be freelance writer but never had dare to quit my job .I know this job has dejecting my energy and I know I will dipressed one day . I am a mathematics teacher , which was my desired job on my school level .I enjoy with numbers and calculations then and now too but I cannot enjoy on teaching mathematics . the first reason is teaching is not prestigious jobs in my country compared to other intellectual jobs . The second reason that teachers cannot earn enough money . they can survive only . I know , happiness and satisfaction are not totally depends on economic only ,some deeds are more valuable than money . during on my teaching career , I couldn’t find such students who really inspired on maths .every one needs grades and making maths as tools of success .
    I was enthusiast on literature as well as maths . i couldn’t find combination on these different streams . on my teenage time , i spend time  parrallel reading on two subject . but now which is my destiny ? I am confused . on the orher hand , i haven’t fluency on english . nepali is my native language , I can not express my veiws and feelings  on english like nepali . you can say , why wouldn’t you write in nepali ? but i want to write in english . I am optimistic , I am trying  .one day you will find my improved post on this page

    8 reasons why some ASIANS find the SPEAKING of English SO DIFFICULT

    yes really ,I am trying to make my english comanding since last three years but I am unable to make this .

    The FUTURE of Learning

    asian speaker

    (Photo credit: http://bit.ly/1voyQpJ)

    This has been an ongoing question by many teachers around the world who have taught in many different countries. But we think we are all the same, but in fact we aren’t, and here are some reasons why:

    1. Shyness

    A lot of Asian cultures have a strength in the academic side because it is something they can do quietly at home without anyone watching, but as soon as they have to make a sound in the limelight, the fear of looking foolish is just too hard to bear.

    1. Some sounds are not in their language

    We do not all grow up In the same world of sounds. In some cultures and often Asian cultures the sounds around them are so completely different to the English sounds, the people’s tongues literally grow comfortable in a certain way and it is very difficult to retrain it any other…

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    Humanity

    really touchy poem

    Scribbling Along

    This is one of my favorite poems written by Maithilisharan Gupt.

    मनुष्यता

    विचार लो कि मर्त्य हो न मृत्यु से डरो कभी,
    मरो परन्तु यों मरो कि याद जो करे सभी।
    हुई न यों सु-मृत्यु तो वृथा मरे, वृथा जिए,
    मरा नहीं वहीं कि जो जिया न आपके लिए।

    यही पशु-प्रवृत्ति है कि आप आप ही चरे,
    वही मनुष्य है कि जो मनुष्य के लिए मरे।

    उसी उदार की कथा सरस्वती बखानती,
    उसी उदार से धरा कृतार्थ भाव मानती।
    उसी उदार की सदा सजीव कीर्ति कूजती,
    तथा उसी उदार को समस्त सृष्टि पूजती।

    अखंड आत्म भाव जो असीम विश्व में भरे,
    वही मनुष्य है कि जो मनुष्य के लिए मरे।

    सहानुभूति चाहिए, महाविभूति है वही,
    वशीकृता सदैव है बनी हुई स्वयं मही।
    विरुद्धवाद बुद्ध का दया-प्रवाह में बहा,
    विनीत लोक वर्ग क्या न सामने झुका रहे?

    अहा! वही उदार है परोपकार जो करे,
    वहीं मनुष्य है कि जो मनुष्य के…

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    Race to get high: Annapurna Day 10 -11

    a good discription

    Flight of the Canadians

    COOLPIX S2800280

    Matching outfits. It was inevitable.

    At home in Toronto, we’re pretty good about checking we’re not leaving the house looking like we’re in the same theater group. To date, we’ve averted more than a few versions of our own acts of terror where, both arriving at the door to leave for a dinner party in blue, black or red, one of us grudgingly accepts it’s their turn to change, and runs upstairs to reassert his/her own identity to avoid showing up, smiling, wearing the same colours, like two lunatics: “Do you want some wine, Marc?”, our host would ask. “I’ll have whatever Rose has. We drink whatever the other one drinks.”, I reply smiling, with eyes a little too wide.

    And, truth be told, we maintained pretty good standards while backpacking – even though we only had five different shirts to help differentiate ourselves. On the mountain, however, the higher…

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    big news

    it was loadsedding yeasterday so I couldn’t get chance to watch television . i rarely listen radio or fm when I have access of t.v . i have to depend on newspaper for hot news .the habit of reading newspaper also have been decreasing on the dominance of social site facebook and twitter .the news was spread everywhere but I am unware about it .
    it is not good news that the gang fighting inside the CA hall . the fighter were none but our parliament member ,our leader and our member of government .it seems as funny joke that many chairs were brocken on fighting .every one have right for note of decent on democracy but they cannot hurt to any one .it is shame that ca members are fighting like animals .how can we hope for them ,they can make constitution for better nepal .as the one of voter ,i have regret on our selected candidate .

    weather

    it’s too cold today , I have heard more than fifty time today .yea , it’s cold ,there is not any doubt .raining on these winter obviously make very cold .but it’s not any bizarre every one has issue of talking .

    the temperature is decreasing every day at Kathmandu  . it may drop on negative but it’s not the big topic to discuss . every year the temperature drop around feezing point .there are so many topic , the condition of political scene , degrading human values ,the problem of unemployed , the fruitless education .why are every one clinging on cold ?

    ielts

    its my second time .i haven’t hoped too much .you may say it’s not clear . yea i am deliberately making you unclear .it’s because Iam not clear why I gave this test .

    before five month ,I gave english test named academic ielts .i was planning to go abroad any of english continent .so I need engish test .although that time astraliya was hot cake but i wasn’t sure .i was destined us or any other europe . i did little efort to increase my level but I was average . this band wasn’t enough for me as i should had apply for scholarship .that my plan was lost .that time what i thought I took this general test date .
    it takes next thirteen days for my result but i am not enthusiastic with result .I have no plan with this mark as apply for canadian pr time has finished .the criteria of this application was beyond my brand that I am not hope for .
    by teaching private college ,i earn some amount .that was enough for my staying at Kathmandu .known as frugal and miser I collect some amount and afford for dates .when will the process may be ended ?

    Does teaching be lucrative ?

    This is not question that asking someone for answer . This is the question that evokes me these days .  I know no one will satisfied with his job and position , that enhance people to innovate .
    As a teacher at some private colleges , I saw the uncertainty on teaching  career at Nepal . As the country is suffered from political trouble , that affect everything but by analyzing all the circumstance and situation , I predict that teaching will be last and left profession for money . The people who are economical sound, they may sustain on teaching but there’s not hope for teachers who depends on it .

    friends

    I believe that friendship is the most intimate relation . It is the relationship that is bonded by his interest , emotions .it has not any legal attachments ,so it’s higher than others .if you want break the relation ,you can break any time and reunite any time
    In my life , I haven’t made more friends but whome I made they are forever . I believe that how many friends you have that’s not matter ,but it matters how long time you have . I have totally faith on friends .any friend can’t blame me he deceive me and I haven’t heard yet . but I was totally destroyed by some intimate . last year ,I was cheated by dearest one badly , then I am enlightened . Don’t believe totally rather than self .but the life without friends may barren and dried .

    A wife’s letter to her childless husband on Father’s Day

    Dani De Luca

    I lay in bed the other night, hands crossed over my heart and legs pin-straight, and thought of those words:

    This is not about me at all, is it? This is all about you.

    That’s what you said to me when I told you I wanted to have the procedure done. A procedure that would be risky, as any procedure is, but that might point us to what’s wrong. The answer to why our children are in the clouds and not here with us.

    I was angry at you for saying such a cruel thing. So I went to bed in silence and didn’t tell you to sleep with God and dream with me like I always do. I didn’t kiss you or reach for your hand in reconciliation. I simply lay there, emotionally entombed, trying not to breathe too hard or feel too much as I waited for sleep…

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